Am I too poor to have a wedding?
Every time I look at a wedding dress, I want to cry
Every now and again1, I find myself looking over wedding dress stores on Instagram. Tulle dresses are my favourite.
Until I see the price.
The average wedding dress in the UK costs £1,250, according to Bridebook. In my neck of the woods, the North East of England, it’s £1,260.
That’s over double my rent.
The other wedding costs align with this - venues on average cost £6,428 (doesn’t include catering… that’s over £4k), the photographer is £1,167… you get the picture.
Weddings are becoming unaffordable and with the cost of living crisis conning us all out of wages… I keep asking myself the question: am I too poor to get married?
What are the basics things you need to have for your wedding?
To officially tie the knot, you need someone to marry you and to “give notice.”
Giving notice is normally 28 days before you get married. It costs £35 per person… so £70. Some places charge more if you’re planning to get married on a Saturday (Leeds, for example) and some places seem to allow you to give notice sooner than 28 days, and this also costs more.
Shockingly (not) if you’re unable to give notice in person - aka you’re “housebound” it also costs more. Because when you’re disabled, everything costs more money2.
So already, to get yourself wed you’re looking at a minimum of £70.
Then there’s the actual wedding. I’m going to use Leeds City Council as an example.
If you get married in the Leeds Civil Hall, West Room (which seats up to 40 guests) it costs £57… on the last Monday of the month. On a Tuesday and Thursday, it’s £248. That’s right - four times as much.
Oh… and there’s a booking fee of £44.
I’m not going on, because it’s unaffordable. So we’re, at a minimum, looking at £171 to get married on the last Monday of the month3.
Ways of skimping on the wedding dress
Going to a wedding boutique is out of the question, isn’t it? So I’m going to have to get creative.
A load of charity shops do wedding dresses4. When I went to my local Dove House Hospice charity, I saw a white Phase Eight dress that would have made a nice wedding dress for someone.
Not me though - ‘coz I’m picky AF.
So I’ve been thinking up other ways in case I don’t find my perfect wedding dress in a charity shop. And I thought I could make it.
Like with a sewing machine… me who didn’t even make her own cushion in Secondary School because I was too busy having singing lessons.
There’s a WikiHow page on how to make one…
And someone made a mock-up wedding dress out of bed sheets on Reddit…
I’m sure I’ll be fine.
But this doesn’t really save me any money, especially as sewing machines seem to be the new Tesla5. And the material isn’t always the cheapest… unless I actually use my bed sheets.
Where am I going to party?
This might not be as hard as some might think. It is possible to have a wedding reception and not pay that much.
I find the best way is to book an area in a restaurant or pub. Some will want a deposit and some don’t bother. If you get the latter, this could mean a wedding reception venue with no cost.
So how can you make the most of it?
Choose somewhere that might have live music playing - a band would be amazing, but even a lonesome solo artist singing with a guitar is better than nothing. You should be able to ask the pub in question for a calendar of artists ahead of time or, if you don’t want to draw attention to the fact you’re getting free reception music, just try to check their website / social media or pop-in one weekend.
The next thing to keep in mind is the food. Don’t choose somewhere that doesn’t do decent platters, because they are going to be your saving grace. Set a small budget and don’t go over it. Get people to buy their own drinks, but again choose somewhere that has a decent selection of non-alcoholic drinks.
The Paranting Conclusion
Wedding costs suck.
But am I too poor to get married? Maybe.
But I know I could save and maybe have some sort of decent wedding without getting into debt or losing my home.
What tips do you have for making weddings cheaper? Let us know!
Alright, every day.
I hate this country sometimes. According to Scope, disabled people, on average, face extra costs of £583 a month. Ya know, just coz we’re disabled.
Clearly, nobody will be coming to that.
I actually donated my wedding dress from my first marriage to a charity shop, but that’s another story.
They are so expensive. Literally, one was recommended in a sewing magazine I was reading… it was £1k. Double my rent!